Writing Sex Scenes all Bonbons and Butterscotch Martinis?

I don’t do Bonbons (What do they look like?) and well, Butterscotch Martinis…love them. However, it isn’t a sissy drink, don’t let the “butterscotch” fool you. I haven’t had one in a very long time and I especially miss having them with my buds, the Butterscotch Martini Girls.

Sex scenes? As Brit Blaise, I have to write them and frankly a good sex scene is like good sex…it’s hard to get.

If you’re getting good sex all of the time, speak up. I’m sure others would like to hear ALL about it. Real life isn’t conducive to good sex, it keeps interfering.

It isn’t about part A (the really BIG one) being inserted into part B (the really tight one), “Ugh, ugh, ugh, oh, baby,” and the big O happens. Did that make you hot? So why do so many people think it’s easy to write about sex. Well maybe it is easy, but it isn’t easy to do it so the reader becomes emotionally involved and tingly in their parts. (((smiles)))  

Frankly, I often find myself skipping the sex in books I’m reading that are touted as erotic if they don’t show the character’s emotional growth or hang-ups.

I like the three letter words in sex…hot and fun. If it isn’t fun I don’t want to read it, unless it’s freaking up-against-the-wall, hot. Writing five pages can happen really fast unless those pages are sex…then those five pages can take days if I’m not in the mood. And if I’m not feeling it, then my reader isn’t feeling it either as my good friend and critique partner Cassie Ryan says. http://www.cassieryan.com/

And we aren’t afraid to tell each other we are or are not feeling it. How about you? What makes a sex scene good for you? Talk about it…you may find it liberating. Wait! That’s it! I like my characters to talk during sex.

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9 Responses to Writing Sex Scenes all Bonbons and Butterscotch Martinis?

  1. Bonbons used to be sold in movie theaters, back in the day. They were morsels of ice cream dipped in chocolate, a tad bit bigger than a piece of candy in a box. You had to eat them quick because…well…they were frozen. LOL

  2. Michelle says:

    Great post!! Writing a sex scene is not easy at all – which is why I do all the emotions leading up to it, the foreplay then do the whole fade away thing. I do not write erotica, but I agree with you, if reading the sex scene does not get your feeling all tingly, then it’s not worth writing. I don’t want to read or write something that is dry cut and almost technical. I like the lead in to it then the fade away and you can let your imagination fill in the rest.

  3. Brit says:

    Pepper, I was raised in the country, farm land and we had show horses with all that entailed. The first time I went to a movie theater was to see The Ten Commandments with my aunt. I was so enthralled by the movie, I never considered people ate while watching. By the time I was a teenager, I went more often, but I don’t remember bonbons.

    Thanks, Michelle. I love it when someone “gets” it.

  4. Donya Lynne says:

    I’m like you. I love when my characters talk during their sex scenes. It makes it more fun and realistic. I try to give each sex scene a little something different, personalizing them to the characters. Some like it rough, while others are more “artistic.” But the laughter, talking, and DEFINITELY the emotional aspect MUST be present. I have a lot of damaged characters I write about, and that damaged-ness (is that a word? LOL) always plays a part in their sex scenes, whether through growth, part of their fetishes, or anything else, the emotion has to be there, or the scene is dead for me.

    A trick I use to keep my sex scenes interesting is to pull away from the action and go inside the heads of the characters for a couple of paragraphs, then go back to the action. Otherwise, the scene just reads like a bad sportscaster’s play-by-play. He touched her. She moaned. He kissed her neck. She bit his. It’s like Wimbledon, the spectators looking back-and-forth from character to character as they volley. Everything is in two dimensions instead of three (or even four).

    Great post!

  5. Marin says:

    Thanks for a very timely post! I am in the middle of a sex scene right now and I am so not in the mood. It’s taking me days to write it, and I was getting very discouraged until I read your post. Maybe they need to stop writhing and licking for a minute and say something. :)

    • Brit says:

      Too funny, Marin. You’ve just made me so happy. I love to help people…the “value added” aspect to blogging. I throw something totally off the wall in during a sex scene with my characters and then wait to see how they handle it. I’m a pantzer who likes to mess with my character’s heads.

  6. Reese Ryan says:

    You’re right, it can be very difficult to write a fun, sexy intimate scene that gets readers all hot and bothered rather than making them go “Ugh!” You do have to be in the right mood. There’s just no way you can write a great sex scene feeling frumpy, bored, etc.

    Research helps. Reading a great scene, watching a movie with great sexual tension, or… whatever, helps get the creative juices flowing.

  7. Cat says:

    Great post. I had written a few sex posts, it’s so difficult. I guess It’s not even a hobby, just thoughts I need to get out of my head. I’ll never write books, it’s just not me. Love the blog. I’ll have to remember to check in more often.

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